I guess this is the only way..
Its been a long time since I last wrote to anyone,
Since someone really listened to my pleas for help.

Don’t know where to start, maybe this confusion will corrode along with me.
Still we’re fighting, I know I have alot of issues to fix about myself but neitherway I’m trying my best for her to understand me.

Maybe its just that I wasnt understanding the way it should be.
I’m just scared, plain scared. . .
I used to a cold, heartless imbecile who never cared for anyone else, maybe that’s the reason enough now i’m feeling the guilt for my past sins that I’ve wanted to get rid of, Wanted to run away from it all. But I cant Im not like that anymore, And now she’s in my life there’s only one path that I wanted to take. And its to be with her. . .

Never have I decided to plan my life, Even from before knowing her I never cared less for my life. Since the day I met her I knew that she’s the one thing I was looking for. The only one that I was waiting for all my life.
I admit I’ve done alot of things that she doesnt want to forgive nor forget, I just wished that I died back then when I did what I have to do.

I believed that she had a bf back then, and they did something that I really cant imagine her doing, thinking that it was real I tried to forgive her but I was really hurt what she told me that she did something I never expect she would do. After awhile I learned to truly forgive her, besides the fact that she said it was all a lie, still i accepted her back.

Never in my life met someone like her, I tried to forgive my past and what I did, I even started anew. The day arrived when I realized that I should change my ways, not for a moment but for the better of my cursed life.

weeks have passed and I realized I have to find a way to get her back in my life, to make it up to her for all the wrong things I have done to her.
It was a blessing the God answered my prayers. I was able to talk to her again.

I know I’ve done many wrong things to you hunn, I’ve ever you read this i hope it wont be all too late. I took our road as serious as I am writing this down. I have never planned anything in my life like what I wanted what I wanted to happen with us, I’m so scared of letting you go again.

I found my reason in you, we often argue but that is clearly all because of our misunderstandings. I did change, the only reason why you were’nt able to see it becuase you’re still clinging to my past self which I already left behind.

I know its hard to be believe what I’m saying to you. Honestly speaking i, myself couldnt believe it either. That I was able to go this far In changing my bad habits. I just want you to trust me even a little bit.

I am writing to you to tell you I really love you, sounds ethereal but its true. I know I have done alot of stuffs but there is one thing that I realized. Its that when im with you its easier to explain stuffs rather that communicating through a sms.

I just wanted to share and open up my problems and my feelings towards you. I never regretted losing all my friends just for you, I never regretted changing my attitude because of you. You’re everything to me, I know you have alot of plans for your family and problems that you have Im more than willing to listen, more than willing to understand. Its just that sometimes you would rather go to your friends than talk to me. I know you trust your friends more than I am. I just wish you’d be back in those days when you were’ so sweet that i would melt everytime I read you’re messages. Even though everything in my life is so hard now, everytime you tell me how much I mean to you, I’d forget all my troubles and simply smile and think of being with you again.

I jsut wish you’d forget all the wrong things I’ve done, because that is not me anymore and you always tell me that I would just repeat it again.
Just to assure you one thing, I’m not like your ‘average’ boy next door guy. You should know that by now. I dont like to repeat what I used to do especially things that made you cry. I mean it when I said that I’ll never ever let you go again. I’ve gone to far for you and it would totally destroy me if you’re going to leave me.

I’m willing to wait until the time comes when you’ll have plans for me, but for now I understand that your family comes first above all else.
I just wanted to be important to someone, I wanted it to be you. .

I know you have alot of obligations for your family, but pls understand that you’re not alone hunn. That’s why I’m here. . .

If the time comes, when I die. . .
Pls let this be an inspiration to all those humans out there that once ‘love’ do really change a person by inside out. It can turn the hardest stone into sand.
Hunnie If ever the time comes I disappear, not that i’m dead. . .
I’ll live on. . I’ll wait. . . even in the afterlife. . .

you’re the only thing I wanted that came good into my life.
It was you who loved me the way you are doing now. .
Hope that you’ll realize that keeping the wrong things that happened in your past will only result to more pain and it will haunt you until the last moment that you’ll only realize that ‘i did change’ when its all too late.

pls forgive me for all the things I’ve done, I really need you especially now im all alone. .

everytime I see you smile in your recent pics I can see that you are happy without me, I forgot when was the last time I ’smiled’ because I was really happy.

I miss you so much and I just wanted to let this out from my chest,
I have no one to talk to, no one to turn to. .

i just want my hunnie back. . .

the angel that gave my resolve to live on. . , the onlyo ne the i really love. .

A new dawn beckons. .

Back to darkness from whence I came,

Left and alone again,

why isnt this something new?

Damned humans, you destroyed me again..

been living a life full of sadness,

never to find life amidst darkness,

its been a long time since i last wrote,

a single phrase or even a note.

being alone again isnt a bad thing,

just to protect myself from all those stupid females,

they tell you promises,empty fallen lies,

damn. . how can i be so careless. . .

tch. . love. . the hell do i care. .

they often tell you the same thing.. .

i so f*cking hate you. . .

hope you die because of all the lies you told tristan. . .

just die miserably or grow old miserable. . i dont care. . we dont care.. .

F*ck it. .

Artist:
Stone Sour

Song:
Through glass

Album:
Come What(Ever) May

I’m looking at you through the glass
Don’t know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like I’m sitting all alone inside your head

How do you feel, that is the question
But I forget, you don’t expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can’t expect to bitter folks
And while you’re outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you’re staring at is me

‘Cause I’m looking at you through the glass
Don’t know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real, so much to question
And never dare make up the mannequins
Contaminating everything
When thought came from the heart
It never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(No more sad voices)
Before you tell yourself
It’s just a different scene
Remembering is just different from what you’ve seen

I’m looking at you through the glass
Don’t know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

(REFRAIN):
And it’s the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it’s the stars
The stars that lie to you

I’m looking at you through the glass
Don’t know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

‘Cause I’m looking at you through the glass
Don’t know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

(REFRAIN) [2x]

The stars
The stars that lie

"Falling In Love"
by falling up

You are my one true love
You are the voice that is so sweet
In everything I do, you bring the best out of me
You are my wings to fly
You are the wind beneath them
I miss you every night, when I close my eyes
You put your feelings down
You stopped your tears you brought me love
You held to my heart
You held with hope to have me near
Sometimes I close my eyes
Sometimes I let my hunger rise
I think of all you are, you are the love of my life

[chorus]
All of my dreams and my passions
Are in your hands

You reached me in my need
Your rhythm flows under my skin
I need you desperately,
A sweet healing that will begin
You are my one true love
You are the voice that is so sweet
In everything I do, you bring the best out of me
My everything is you
The very motions that I move
And everything with richness
The richness of the peace you bring

Always, always you are with me
You are the love of my life
He comes to find you on your knees

She seemed dressed in all of me
Stretched across my shame,
All the torment and the pain
Leaked through and covered me.

I’d do anything to have her to myself,
Just to have her for myself.

Now I don’t know what to do,
I don’t know what to do
When she makes me sad.

She is everything to me,
The unrequited dream,
The song that no one sings,
The unattainable.
She’s a myth that I have to believe in,
All I need to make it real is one more reason.

I don’t know what to do,
I don’t know what to do when she makes me sad.

But I won’t let this build up inside of me.
I won’t let this build up inside of me.
I won’t let this build up inside of me.
I won’t let this build up inside of me.

A catch in my throat, choke,
Torn into pieces, I won’t. No.

I don’t want to be this but
I won’t let this build up inside of me (won’t let this build up inside of me) x4

She isn’t real.
I can’t make her real.
She isn’t real.
I can’t make her real.

She burns

Today’s on fire
The sky is bleeding above me, and I am blistered
I walk these lines of blasphemy, every day
And still:

Like a bad star, I’m falling faster down to her
She’s the only one who knows, what it is to burn

I feel diseased
Is there no sympathy from the sun?
The sky’s still fire
But I am safe in here, from the world outside

So tell me
What’s the price to pay for glory?

Like a bad star, I’m falling faster down to her
She’s the only one who knows, what it is to burn

Today is fire, and she burns
Today is fire, and she burns
She burns
She burns
She burns
She burns
She burns
She burns

Like a bad star, I’m falling faster down to her
She’s the only one who knows, what it is to burn.

Here I am beside myself again
I’m torn apart by words that you have said
and all in all, I know we’re falling apart
Where did you run to so far away
And here we are to sing you a song
And there you are asleep against the windowpane
Just like always
You said you like to hear the rain sometimes
and all I can do is tell you the truth
Oh my eyes will tell you the same
And here we are to sing you a song
And there you are asleep again

And here we are to sing you a song
And there you are asleep again

Grasp our hands together, we feel we are one result (x4)

And here we are to sing you a song
And there you are asleep again (x3)

Grasp our hands together, we feel we are one result

War of hearts and minds
Who will pay the price?
Does anybody care?
It’s not make believe
You’ve seen it on your TV screen
I’m glad you’re not here

Chorus:
Take my wife please
If you think it’s funny
Cut my heart out for a souvenir
Take my life please
If you think it’s worth it
I’m glad you’re not here
I’m glad you’re not here

War of hearts and minds
Seven days later,
I still can’t find
Truth and peace
How will i find my way
They say love, love without fear
Is said to be the key
But just look around
No answer to be found
(Get me out here)

(Repeat Chorus)

(Repeat Chorus)

Coda:
I’m glad you’re not here